Communicating Communication

Is effective communication important? 

Regarding humans, communication is involved with virtually every interaction from 1 person to another. There's a spectrum of accuracy for which any person can communicate, from actions to detailed words.

Actions or a few simple words can sometimes be effective for fast communication, but are typically very inaccurate and imprecise. This leaves a lot of room for error from the person that is interpreting the communication. For example, if someone sees someone else from a distance on the street that they recognize, they might quickly wave, intending to communicate a greeting, but with inaccuracy of this communication, the other person could misinterpret the wave to insinuate for them to keep walking and move on. Or a friend could ask another if they want to join for a party, and the response might be a very simple “no”. With this low accuracy of detail, the response might have been just because they are tired and don't want to party, but the other friend might misinterpret it to assume they don't want to join because they don't like hanging out with that friend. If they make this misinterpretation, they might never again ask that friend to join anything, even though they might have wanted to join plenty of things in the future. A simple lack of detail (for reasons why) in the response, could change the rest of both of the friends lives.

Inaccurate and fast simple communication is often more effective after the people communicating know each other well enough, and have enough experience from each other, to interpret effectively what the other is intending (such as a couple that has lived together for 10 yrs). Or fast communication can be used after explaining ahead of time in detailed communication, what certain fast actions or words are intended to mean. For example, in a sport, such as ultimate frisbee, teammates could clarify before the game what certain fast words or gestures mean, to maximize speed during the game. They could specify and agree that the word “zone” means run to the zone for scoring a point, or that pointing at the ground is intended to mean come closer. 

When it comes to initial, more personal communication between people that will be around each other a lot, detailed communication can be slow, but allow much more accurate understanding, and the ability to gain trust. In my last post; Trusting Trust, I distinguished that 1 of the best tools someone can have in order to trust another on a larger scale, is communication. This allows someone to understand why the other person makes decisions and takes actions, which builds an understanding of their overall values and tendencies. 

Before much trust is built, extra detailed communication can often be the most effective method to avoid misinterpretation, as well as reveal reasons for any decisions, beliefs, and actions of the past, present and future. Besides misinterpretations, straight forward detail early on can also avoid lack of awareness of the other. Communicating preferences and opinions just once, can avoid a repeated dispreferred situation 1000 times in the future, and benefit both people. For eg, someone could be straight forward and tell their roommate that they find it hard to sleep when the other walks loudly late at night. Then rather than having the lack of awareness that they step too loudly, they can take lighter steps after a certain time of night. This could not only allow the other to gain 2 hrs of sleep every night for a year, but also they will then not feel anger and spite towards the roommate that would have continued walking loudly, and this could avoid them being kicked out of the house by the landlord. 

As this can obviously apply to relationships or friendships, it can also apply to virtually any interaction in society with any meaning. From communication between an employee and their boss, to an online discussion about politics, to a customer and a business owner, excessive detail is usually better than lack of detail, to avoid the vast potential for misunderstandings and to avoid the need for someone to guess.

In all, basic inaccurate communication can be fast and effective in simple scenarios, but easily misinterpreted. Often, more accurate detail near the start can allow understanding, trust, and agreement for faster communication later on. Being straightforward can often save a lot of future discomfort for both people, and excessive detail is usually lower risk than lacking detail. If there is excessive detail in this post, that's to increase chances of accurate interpretation, as I’m Communicating Communication.