Honing of Honesty

To be honest, that probably shouldn’t even be a common term, it should be assumed. For a few years now, I’ve taken into my daily habits, being honest. I’m not talking about typical mediocre honesty of being mostly honest in those more significant situations, while still telling white lies and fibs when it’s convenient. I’m talking about being completely legitimately honest. I admit (to be honest) I haven’t been absolutely 100% honest this whole time, but those few times I ended up saying something not completely true -whether based on habit or from pressure- I took notice and reviewed the situation and as few situations as occurred, realised it was unnecessary. Within the last 2-4 years I can’t recall a single situation where even the slightest fib was overall beneficial.

Most situations where Ive found the temptation to lie to any degree was for my own benefit. Throughout this time Ive also paid attention to others dishonesty and what motivation there seemed to be to do so. Most small lies that seem unimportant seem to be an attempt to spare someone’s feelings and try to be polite. But when you really analyse the situation, you can come to realize in the end, you’re only really sparing yourself the uncomfortable and potentially awkward scenario in which you tell someone something honest, but which has a negative connotation. You like to think your being nice to the person because you say something more positive. But in reality you’re telling them something untrue, to your knowledge, which will enable them to continue whatever negative attribute is in discussion. The truth will likely only be beneficial to both you and the one hearing it in the long run.

It will be potential constructive criticism from their perspective, and the responsibility is really up to them to take it as that or less preferably, be a frick bag and be irrationally overdramatic and throw a hissy fit. It’s up to you to make the mature responsible decision of telling it how it is and allowing the receiver to play the ball as they wish. You may be worried of the potential initial temporary negative results, but if you really comprehend the situation you will realize even if the person takes it the wrong way and gets pissed off, that’s their own irrational decision which is up to them and not your fault knowing you made the right move. Basically, just know you’re trying to do them a favour, and if they take it the wrong way, it’s their own problem.

The overall general logic of being honest is pretty simple and should be graspable by even those of lesser comprehensive capabilities, being; if your less than honest even once, there’s little reasoning to know whether you’re telling the truth from that point on. Therefore, what you say is then more than less irrelevant and meaningless.

March 20/21 2015

The essence and logic of dishonesty is flawed. The point of lying or being dishonest is an attempt to make the directee believe something false or inaccurate. On occasion this may be effective in short term scenarios, but in the majority of situations, if there is any prolonged basis between the liar and lyee, the lyee will identify or at least suspect one of the untrue communications, and from that point on, no longer believe the liar. Any communication from the liar in the future -as well as instances recalled from the past- is then discredited, and not thought to be true, which was the intended purpose of lying in the first place. But the intended deceit doesn’t only become completely ineffective of its intended purpose, but also contributes an additional negative effect which spreads to all other communications from said liar. At the point of detected or suspected portrayed falsity, additional to any untrue communication, true communication will also be considered uncreditful.

The mistaken illusion that being dishonest with someone will spare their feelings is a less obvious and understandable, but still just as flawed, besides likely having the reverse intended effect of helping the directee. The entire concept is a dangerous illusion; of seeming as if you are doing the person some good, when in reality the negative effects are likely to have a much higher degree of effect long term. The risk factor is higher for the lyee, considering the intended function of the deceit is in relation to the lyees positive mental perception.

As is with the typical type of lying, the lyee will likely ultimately detect the lack of honesty, and as a result suspect all communications of dishonesty. But in this scenario of the lyees mental perception being the element at risk, there is more potential damage to be inflicted. As a negative result, regarding the aspect of enabling whichever negative attribute was at hand applicable to the lyee, the mentioned negative attribute will have persisted over a longer time period, so therefore the negative effect on the mental perception of the lyee will be applied to a greater range of that enabled attribute. That is one portion of negative effect being applied to the lyee. The extra addition portion of negative effect is applied to the lyees mental perception, through the uncertainty of the legitimacy of any additional communications relayed from liar to lyee regarding any alternate aspects effecting the lyees mental perception.

Next time you come across the scenario where you think lying is the best option, re-think it -honestly.